Tuesday, December 16, 2008

who are they?

I feel like I am stuck in the song "Who Are They" by Tim McGraw.

Who are they? And why do we let society tell us how to raise our kids? I have really been struggling lately with all the information out there for us parents to absorb (or not absorb) with the best and worst How To's with kids and parenting...

They say you would rather have a Nuk sucker than a thumb sucker. It's easier to take away. Emmitt never had a chance to get attached...but he never really showed an interest. Some nights I wished he had one to suck on to put himself back to sleep.

They say to take away the Nuk around a year old...so I took Parker's away at 13 months. What was the big deal, I am sure he never would have taken it to kindergarten with him anyway.

They say to turn their car seat to the forward facing position at 20#'s and 1 year old. I turned Parker and 20# and 10 months. I am hating that Emmitt is still backwards with his knees in his face but he isn't 20#'s or 1 year. So I guess they win.

They say to breastfeed for a year. It's the best, right? So I did with Parker and you all know what is going on with Emmitt. Somewhere out there was a smart scientist who made formula that is just as nutritious for them. And we are all getting used to this new routine.

They say to go for the natural childbirth experience. So I went for it, until I almost ripped the bed rail off. And it was much more enjoyable with the shot of morphine.

They say to not let your kids sleep with you in your bed. But at 5 am I could really care less about where we are all sleeping as long as we are still sleeping. And I like to snuggle my boys.

They say...They say...blah, blah, blah!

But am I really supposed to teach my kid all his ABC's and numbers and colors and shapes and how to write his name, before he goes to preschool someday? Isn't that what school is for? And if I don't give in to them then am I condemning my child to be the "dumb" kid that doesn't know anything and squashing his self confidence or do I follow along with what they say and "work" with my 3 year old? I don't think so people!

Part of what I love so much about where the boys go to daycare is that it is playtime not sit-down-and-tell-me-how-to-spell-your-name-for-a-snack-time. Can't kids just be kids without being made fun of or teased for not being as smart, cute, best dressed, clean, healthy as the next kid? I really wonder what kind of world it will be when my kids are 60 and worrying about their grand children's future...scary

I just hate that they set us up for "failure" when really we are failing at nothing at all. We are raising healthy, happy, smart, busy, fun-loving, kids in a world with a heck of a lot worse going on in it.


beanski said...

the picture of you four is adorable :)

THEY can kiss my ass...it took me about six months of renee's life where i was a stress case trying to be the perfect mother to throw in the towel and tell them to shove it. as long as my kids have clean butts and are smiling i don't care what they say. cameron desparately wants to sleep on his stomach...renee weaned herself and still needed the calories from formula...she never likes nuks or sleeping in our bed but he does...SO FREAKING WHAT. no one is going to die. i hate the judgements and i hate moms who try to make it like they are perfect when i know they aren't.

off my soapbox.

FamilyGus said...

This is a great post Becky! I totally agree!