Monday, January 5, 2009

he does the whites.

for the last 2 years or so Bear and I have been doing our own laundry. It was just easier this way. Instead of me nagging at him to not dry $40 bras or shrink my pants into floods or to not wash his grease and grim filled work pants with my nice sweaters we decided to separate our laundry doings. it has worked out quite well for the most part. If he runs out of underwear then it's his own fault...not mine. but i somehow ended up not only not doing his laundry but i do all the rest of the laundry. the kids'. the towels. the sheets. the burp rags. the whites...So this weekend in my midst of already-running-the-washer-100-times phase, I though I would help him out by washing his clothes too so he could pack for the week. What's 4 more loads anyways right? I did all the laundry and got him to help me put it away and all I didn't get to was the pile of whites that had fornicated in the basement into a humongous pile. He volunteers to do them. Oh...okay I say, but honey do you know how to do whites properly? (meaning my way). He says no and why don't you come show me, I'll learn. Okay (this outta be fun). So down we go and I show him to fill the washer first with the warm/warm water setting, mix the quart jar with half bleach and half water and then pour that concoction into the little reservoir labeled "bleach only". Then add the clothes. He does and it seems like he maybe didn't mind the whole experience. I think it's because he was out of undershirts. So fast forward the night to the point of him gathering his stuff up for the next morning's trip and me upstairs just falling asleep...up the stairs he comes, turns on the light, puts his face next to mine and whispers "I did the whites"...I open one eye and glare at him..."they smell like bleach"...I slightly lift my head off the pillow so I can glare at him with both eyes now..."I think I did something wrong"...I sit up and ask, "what could you have done wrong (a little panic in my voice)?"..."I think I used too much bleach"..."well, how much is too much Bear?"..."just what you showed me, but they smell like bleach"...(insert eye roll) "that's because you used bleach"..."something just doesn't seem right...because they burn my nose"..."..."hmmm, I say 'just dry them ("I already did that"), I am sure they'll be fine, if they don't have holes in them, I am sure they are fine"..."well just smell them before you put them on the kids, they really smell"...
I tell ya, he woke me up at 11 o'clock to tell me that basically "bleach smells"...

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