Thursday, March 5, 2009

Is this for real or is his playing me?

Parker has been healing nicely, physically. His throat is looking pretty gross, but that is a good thing. His voice is still hyper-nasally, but they are saying that is a side effect of the adenoid surgery. He most likely has some swelling from the surgery itself, but nothing like he had with the enlarged tonsils and adenoids. Every one kept telling me, he is going to be a different kid when this is all over. Well, I feel it is all over, but I know it's not, and he is a different kid, but not necessarily better. I am waiting for him to blossom and hear all these sounds he has been missing. Like the other night with the banging dishes…that made my heart swell with excitement. But we are getting the backlash of hearing so much so soon. He is acting out in ways that he hasn't before and in ways that we by no means condone. He refuses to let daddy help him with anything and kicks to get him away from him or screams at him or hits him. He is waking up multiple times a night and freaking out in his room (which he shares with Emmitt), screaming in the hallway, banging on the door that leads downstairs, hitting us to wake us up at all hours of the night, wanting but not wanting to sleep in our bed, won't calm down when we try to ask him what is wrong or what he is afraid of. Is he hearing sounds at night he hadn't heard before and it is waking him up and scaring him? Is he afraid to fall asleep in case he wakes up in a different room hurting and surrounded by strangers like when he was in the hospital? Is he hearing so much that he is over stimulated and he can't process it all so fast? Is he just playing me because I am mom and he had me home for a week? Is this going to end soon? We are running on little sleep in this house. Which just adds to the crab-fest party. I try not to coddle him too much in case he is playing us and milking it for all he's got, but on the other hand I don't want to send him away with less loving simply because I don't want to form a bad habit. Like sleeping in our bed, once in awhile I don't mind, but the fact is none of us sleep well when we are all crammed into a bed. He is crawling up on my side and sleeping right next to my side in my armpit. If I try to rollover or move to get comfortable he jolts awake and makes sure I am not going anywhere. He hears my alarm clock and will not stay sleeping, he gets up with me. He is wanting to shower with me again-which is something that we cut him off from doing at three-I'm a girl, you're a boy, go shower with daddy. If he starts peeing his pants I may lose it. He has just been backsliding since the surgery. I have layed down with him in his bed until he falls asleep, I have taken privileges away-his favorite puppy as punishment for not staying in his bed and screaming at night (that has always worked in the past), I have done special projects with him one on one; made cookies and banana bread, taken just him to the store, gone to the library, things to make him feel safe and important, I have screamed at him for his behavior, I have cried with him, I have called the doctor to see if this is all normal. Tonight I told him a long story about how his puppy needs him to be brave and that it only likes to sleep in his bed and he needs to take special care of that puppy like a daddy and mommy do. I made the puppy a special bed and everything. Currently he is in his bed quietly playing with the puppies. He came to the door 4 times: the puppies leash, their food, a drink for himself, and something else that I refused to go up and find out about. Part of me wants to just ignore him and show him whose boss, but the other part is so hard is that he is disrupting Emmitt's sleep. Nobody came into Parker's room when he was a baby and stood over the crib and screamed for an hour! Ahh…what to do?

1 comment:

FamilyGus said...

Hang in there Becky. I can't say I know what you're going through, but I know Karlie went backwords on some things when we had Tanner. It's probably a combo of things that he doesn't understand or we as parents don't understand, too. Parenting is tough and frustrating(I know 1st hand), but also there's those little moments that mean so much. :) You and Bear are wonderful parents just remember that!