all the way to Loman

It is my MIL's 66th Birthday on March 9th...so we celebrated this weekend. Blake and Casey hosted out at their house in Loman with supper, drinks and a ginormous cake. After nap time we took the kids out, we let them watch a movie in the car the whole 25 miles. No idea what we did prior to portable DVD players. But it gives us (Bear and I) a chance to talk in a fairly quiet environment. Emmitt fell asleep on the way out so as soon as I turned off the highway I set the cruise to 25 mph and we took our time heading to the house. Parker was unfazed by the decrease in speed so we got to talk even more. The area has been logged lately and it always gives Bear a chance to "give me a lesson" in the worldly ways he knows all about that I am completely oblivious to. I actually enjoy the lesson and always seem to come up with some stupid question that makes his eyebrows go up in astonishment. Sadly, it takes a reason to drive all the way out to Loman for supper.

Uncle Bart came up for the weekend...

The drool machine doing what he does best...drooling and climbing.
And of course Grandma's triple layer German Chocolate cake! To top it off, Auntie Casey let Parker make homemade ice cream. When I asked Parker what he should say to Grandma? He started in singing. Happy Birthday to You! In a key much higher (and nasally) than the rest of us. It was funny when we finished because we all tried to stay up in the key, but failed and found a key all on our own. Very interesting!
Parker saying "ahhhh" to just about anybody who asks. He will tell you right away that he had his tonsils out. They are doing very well too. The scabs are going away almost completely. He is talking more and more every day. He is hearing lots of things that we know he didn't hear before, mainly because he is commenting on hearing them. He is startled more easily by loud noises. His appetite is coming back gradually, but mostly he isn't gagging up food when he takes a big bite. The boys developed a nasty cough and diarrhea over the weekend though, oh and the runny snotty nose too! :)

I think he assumes since he is "at the Farm" and in the country he can throw all manners out the window, including using the bathroom. Notice how he didn't go down to the bottom step by proceeding to pee off the top one, right in the middle and on the rest of the steps!

Is this for real or is his playing me?

Parker has been healing nicely, physically. His throat is looking pretty gross, but that is a good thing. His voice is still hyper-nasally, but they are saying that is a side effect of the adenoid surgery. He most likely has some swelling from the surgery itself, but nothing like he had with the enlarged tonsils and adenoids. Every one kept telling me, he is going to be a different kid when this is all over. Well, I feel it is all over, but I know it's not, and he is a different kid, but not necessarily better. I am waiting for him to blossom and hear all these sounds he has been missing. Like the other night with the banging dishes…that made my heart swell with excitement. But we are getting the backlash of hearing so much so soon. He is acting out in ways that he hasn't before and in ways that we by no means condone. He refuses to let daddy help him with anything and kicks to get him away from him or screams at him or hits him. He is waking up multiple times a night and freaking out in his room (which he shares with Emmitt), screaming in the hallway, banging on the door that leads downstairs, hitting us to wake us up at all hours of the night, wanting but not wanting to sleep in our bed, won't calm down when we try to ask him what is wrong or what he is afraid of. Is he hearing sounds at night he hadn't heard before and it is waking him up and scaring him? Is he afraid to fall asleep in case he wakes up in a different room hurting and surrounded by strangers like when he was in the hospital? Is he hearing so much that he is over stimulated and he can't process it all so fast? Is he just playing me because I am mom and he had me home for a week? Is this going to end soon? We are running on little sleep in this house. Which just adds to the crab-fest party. I try not to coddle him too much in case he is playing us and milking it for all he's got, but on the other hand I don't want to send him away with less loving simply because I don't want to form a bad habit. Like sleeping in our bed, once in awhile I don't mind, but the fact is none of us sleep well when we are all crammed into a bed. He is crawling up on my side and sleeping right next to my side in my armpit. If I try to rollover or move to get comfortable he jolts awake and makes sure I am not going anywhere. He hears my alarm clock and will not stay sleeping, he gets up with me. He is wanting to shower with me again-which is something that we cut him off from doing at three-I'm a girl, you're a boy, go shower with daddy. If he starts peeing his pants I may lose it. He has just been backsliding since the surgery. I have layed down with him in his bed until he falls asleep, I have taken privileges away-his favorite puppy as punishment for not staying in his bed and screaming at night (that has always worked in the past), I have done special projects with him one on one; made cookies and banana bread, taken just him to the store, gone to the library, things to make him feel safe and important, I have screamed at him for his behavior, I have cried with him, I have called the doctor to see if this is all normal. Tonight I told him a long story about how his puppy needs him to be brave and that it only likes to sleep in his bed and he needs to take special care of that puppy like a daddy and mommy do. I made the puppy a special bed and everything. Currently he is in his bed quietly playing with the puppies. He came to the door 4 times: the puppies leash, their food, a drink for himself, and something else that I refused to go up and find out about. Part of me wants to just ignore him and show him whose boss, but the other part is so hard is that he is disrupting Emmitt's sleep. Nobody came into Parker's room when he was a baby and stood over the crib and screamed for an hour! Ahh…what to do?

I think it's working

I was putting away dishes tonight and Parker was in the kitchen with me, but at the other counter and says ouch, mom...that hurts my ears. So I am thinking that he is already noticing some sounds that he hadn't really been hearing at full potential. sigh...I can already feel the weight coming off my shoulders.

finding things to do

It has been difficult at times to find enough things for Parker to do while being on the down low. For the most part he is content to play with Emmitt. But we need to find things for him to play when he is sick of Emmitt and needing a distraction. He is definitely not sleeping well at night or at nap times. Add that to not eating and we have ourselves an easily cranky 3 year old.

Play-dough is always a win-win. This was something that we could distract him with after having his ear drops put in.

Saturday morning we headed out to visit Grandma Audrey. We surprised her and she dropped everything she was doing to play with me and the boys. She built a fort and we tried to get Emmitt in it but instead he crawled on top of it. Didn't matter though, he had fun doing it.

Dave had saved some of Paul's old Lincoln Logs and Parker plays with them every time he is out for a visit. We had to upgrade to the big table though...Emmitt tries to eat the little pieces.

Grandma's loft is a great place to play peek-a-boo

But no matter what we do for the day...the days are long. He gets very tired, very fast. I am not sure why he isn't sleeping very well. At times it is like he is scared, which he may very well be. It was a traumatic experience. But he can wake up totally uncontrollable. Kicking daddy to get out of our bed because he wants to sleep there. Screaming in the middle of the night, but not saying what he wants. Other times, I think he is just crabby from being tired and hungry. If we can get him to sit still for a Disney movie that is pretty good. I don't mind right now, because we need him to just rest for awhile at times...and we need a break at times. It was so nice to get out to grandma's and not be staring at the same four walls of our house. Tomorrow we are going to try daycare and see how he responds.
If any of you out there need a great kid friendly hand held portable dvd player get the Fischer Price one. It's pricey but way worth it. You can actually drop it down a flight of stairs and it won't break. It comes in handy when we aren't in the mood to watch Brother Bear for the millionth time on the big TV.

Unfortunately after a day of playing, he usually looks pale and tired...