My word for 2016

Yesterday was by far my most challenging day emotionally. I started my day bawling and ended my day the same. We really weren't sure if it was the meds or just the entire situation. I could not get a grip on my emotions.

I literally sit in the same spot all day and night. Yeah I get up to go to the bathroom or fill my water jug for the 15th time, but that's it. If I try much more than that I'm left shaking and weak or light headed. I typically never.stop.moving. It's who I am and how I'm built. I'm super organized and can get an amazing amount of stuff done in a short amount of time. This whole ordeal has been a major reality check. I can't help but wonder if it's my "slow down" card.

I decided I just couldn't let today be the same. Sure it did actually feel good to cry, but it was also so confusing. So this morning at six, I got up and had Bear lead me down the steps so I could pick out my own clothes. Then I got myself in the shower and dressed. By the end of getting dressed I was sitting on the side of the tub with my head between my knees praying I wouldn't pass out. Bear got me to my chair and I was able to wrap my leg and get my brace back on. All.by.Myself (I feel like I need to call Mercer Mayer for that one). Bear just said, "there's my independent little momma." I was proud of myself for doing it and didn't feel so helpless for once. "Baby steps" and "one day at a time" are on repeat in my head

I'm in a challenge group for my oil business and we all had to choose one word for the year 2016.

My word for 2016 is strength

streNG(k)TH/

noun

1. the quality or state of being strong, in particular.

2. a good or beneficial quality or attribute of a person or thing.

I had tossed around a few other words like: balance, intentional and commitment. But the major trauma last Sunday has flipped my world upside down. I have strength, I always have and I think I always will, but the strength I need now is so very different.

I'm sassy and spunky and a fighter naturally for all things and people. I want to be the good in the world and trust that it's always going to exist. But more recently I've had to really look at just how strong I really am. I've accepted food and help from others, who are all too willing to help out, that is so not me. I'm not one for handouts. I'm always the one organizing this kind of stuff. I've had to have someone help me walk and shower. I'm a VERY independent woman and it's humbling to let them help me with the simplest of things.

These everyday, simple tasks are requiring a different level of strength from me. They are making me let go of myself and allowing me to find the strength from within to allow people to help. I've always been the person running all over for others...to have someone offer to help me and for me to accept it is a huge test of my strength. And I'm doing it. 

It's scary being vulnerable, but I have strength and will overcome any obstacle that life throws my way. For now I am taking this "unwelcomed" time off to take a hard look at where my weaknesses are in my business and life and where I need to strengthen them.

Thank you to all of you who are out there praying and thinking of me, for helping with meals, for the visits, for the flowers, for the goodie boxes, for everything...I won't ever forget it.

#iamstrong

#oneword365

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January 3, 2016 | a New Year with a bang

So I had a bit of an accident sledding at the golf course Sunday, January 3rd, around noon. I was in a sledding tube and hit a metal stake by the #9 green. The stake was holding the snow fence up. A bit of a "keep off" sort of thing.

We had a track down and we're aiming behind the gazebo. My second trip down the hill I hopped on the tube and spun backwards and off track. I veered to the left towards the green. By the time my tube spun around again the stake was right there. I naturally put my foot up to stop myself or kick off. That was my right foot...the foot I just had surgery on the end of August. The only thing I can think of is that I second guessed myself at the last minute and didn't want to re-injure that same foot. I must have tucked up my legs into a fetal type position and my right leg (shin/knee) hit the stake and then I skidded down the rest of the stake with the outside of my leg. The stake basically slid up my whole leg.

I remember screaming-the kind you can't stop coming out of your mouth-and nephew Nicker being right there holding my hands and getting me to breathe and calm down. My boys were watching it all but not really understanding it. Tammy, Scott, Derek and Nick got me up the hill and into a big orange sled. Tracey, Kurt and Shelby were just coming in to join us and helped haul all the gear out instead. Nicker got to pull me the mile long road back out to the car. Talk about a sweaty boy!! He helped me get in my car and Tammy drove me to the ER. 

There had been two ambulances before me so I waited and waited and waited. At this time we had no clue of the severity of my injuries. Obviously adrenaline and shock were getting me through the wait. Shaking, hot and cold flashes were my symptoms. And burning leg pain was the only thing I felt on my leg. 

Once I was in the room I had Bear take my new mukluks off-for fear they would cut them off! And once he got my snowpants down we saw the blood and the tissue through my pants and knew that I had a big injury. 

The doctors initial diagnosis was a fractured femur. The thigh injury looked like the ball of my femur protruding and the laceration looked like the bone fracture by my knee. 

I headed into the emergency room-where they assessed me more thoroughly. And then they proceeded to cut off my $100 yoga pants! (The nerve!) BUT the compression of the lulu lemon pants was actually helping keep everything tight and in place. (Score for yoga pants!) And I have awesome friends who already scored me a gift card for a new pair. 

Apparently I'm a rockstar and my pain threshold is very high. The nurses and doctors made sure to repeat that to Bear more than once. I probably won't let him forget it either.

I powered through as best I could. The anxiety and fear is what was sneaking in and getting the best of me. A few doses of some calming meds and we headed down the road.

About 6:30 we arrived in Duluth at St. Lukes via ambulance. I had an amazing crew in the ambulance--small world but Bear's cousin' son was the driver. He said he would be sure to hit every bump on the road-and he succeeded!

And then low and behold a friend and nurse from the Falls was my nurse in Duluth. Traci Wilke is to thank for the "before pics." The trauma surgeon (Dr. Watkins) met with us and explained the injury and the plan of action. He autographed my leg to be sure he operated on the correct one and we were off. Once we started rolling it was fast! Surgery was an hour and a half long and I was out about 11 pm. Surgery was performed on the Degloving of my thigh tissue and deep laceration around my knee that needed repairing. I have a small break on my fibula but it's a non-weight bearing bone so it'll heal on its own and that isn't really anything to worry about.

The trauma surgeon says everything looks good and they sewed up the leg wound perfectly. I'll have a badass scar! The hemo-vac (blood sucker) was placed at the top of my thigh to prevent the blood from pooling. When they took that baby out it was about 24" long! Bear, Mom and Dave couldn't believe the length of it and watched them just keep pulling it out hand over hand. It ran the length of my leg and was basically a tube with holes in it that a pump would suck the excess blood out from the wounds. 

Now we pray for the thigh tissue to get enough blood supply. The Degloving injury basically separated all of the tissue and slid it into a pile at the top of my thigh. The main concern is the skin won't get enough blood supply and it can die off and that would require another surgery with a skin graft. The laceration should heal just fine. Small concern that the blood supply won't heal it properly either but chances are not likely. It looked the worst but isn't necessarily the injury we are most worried about.

The good news is I'm complete, there is no muscle or bone damage, it's all soft tissue damage. I'm young, strong and healthy so they say I'll recover quickly. I realize it could have been so much worse...

The surgeon was just in and has cleared me for discharge. It'll be two weeks of recovery at home and then a return trip to Duluth for the stitches to come out. It'll be lots of weeks to see if the Degloving injury skin is surviving or dying off. The most I can do is keep the leg warm, no caffeine (vaso-constrictor), and no smoking. I'm good on the last one but the coffee withdrawals may totally suck. But this will give me maximum circulation and my best shot at keeping the tissue healthy. 

So gross but to give you an idea, the doc went in, with his hand, through the laceration under my knee and could reach his hand all the way up towards my hip-the thigh/quad area. Which is where he could see his glove through my skin...there is no soft tissue there, it was separated from the fascia, and that is what supplies blood to that area-so we need that to stay healthy. Amazingly my quads are all in tact and I can fire the muscles and get them to move.

Degloving is defined here a little better: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Degloving

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Don't read farther if you don't want to see the icky pics. 

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This is the laceration below my knee. It's where I hit the metal stake. My snowpants and yoga pants were not cut through. We could not tell I was bleeding until we took the snowpants off. The leg injury/laceration was from the impact and it split my skin.

They literally just pulled the skin back together and stitched it up. It all matched up perfectly. It missed my knee cap and wraps around behind my knee and again missing that tendon back there. They said it's about 40 stitches:

This is the hemo-vac that drained the blood from my leg so it didn't pool in there. The ace wrap and compression immobilizer will help keep the swelling down and the stitches around my knee in place and not bending. I'm walking with crutches, tackled the hallway and a set of stairs (up and down like a two-year old) and am to put as much weight as tolerable on the leg. Oh and to stand up straight! Apparently my posture sucks.

That's all for now...I'll need patience and time but should make a full recovery. Lots of physical therapy in my future. Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes...and offers to clean, make meals and help with the boys...I've got an amazing support system helping me through this...love to you all.

Pioneer Woman | Butchering Chickens

This summer we had a super cool opportunity! We butchered our own chickens! I had been buying locally laid eggs from a co-worker for quite a few months. I finally asked him if we could get some meat too. The only stipulation was that we had to come help butcher! The deal was made! I made sure I brought the boys along too...every person should know where their meat comes from. They were all too excited to watch one run around with its head cut off.

Now Dave has the coolest plucker ever. He rigged this thing up to a drill so that when it was turned on it plucked a majority of the feathers off for us! The only major plucking we had to do was the pin feathers and a few random ones. By far made our job easier!

I thought I would be a little sad to see them alive and then butchering them right after but it really didn't bother me.

The boys didn't mind either. They had to imitate the chickens of course. Including loud clucking noises in the woods.

Now the boiling of the chicken was not the best smell, but we were in the wide open and no smell stayed too long.

Emmitt kept saying how heavy the chicken was. They were HUGE birds!

It took Parker a little longer to want to hold the chicken, but he wasn't about to let his little brother show him up.

Now this smell may have been the worst there was. Burn hair was all I could think of. But it was one of the very last steps in the process.

Farm girl Audrey had to see if she could remember the butchering process. It had been quite a few years but she got right back in there and it all came back to her.

The boys had a BLAST standing in the shooting lane of the flying feathers! All three of them were laughing pretty hard!

Total boy...covered in feathers and playing with a chicken foot.

The final stage of packaging chickens. We ended up with five really big birds!

And we promptly made beer-butt chicken for dinner that night. Talk about fresh!!

Olson Magic 2015

After our trip to Disney I wondered just what part my kids would remember. Would they remember us scolding them to "stop touching your brother, please get down from there, hold my hand, stay with the group, move out of the stroller's way, stop swinging the partition, yes this is another line, we know it's hot, we're all hot, we are going to feed you..." I think I've succeeded in burning the "happy images" into their heads. The pictures make the trip come back to life and it's so fun to listen to the boys talk about the things we did.

A little history behind the music I chose.

Holiday Road | The Griswold's Family Vacation

The cancelled flight, the last rental car in town, driving 300  miles in the middle of the night, camping out at the airport, eating Subway at 5 in the morning, and being awake for 30+ hours totally shows how much of a Griswold family we really are! I have one of the most easy going families ever and we just rolled with the flow.

Main Title | The Wilderness Lodge

The Wilderness Lodge is where we stayed on our honeymoon. When you walk into this gorgeous lodge they are playing the theme song from the Last of the Mohicans, It's the Main Title song and one that Bear can whistle on cue if you ask him too. He stayed in the lodge back in 1995 (20 years ago to the month) and first heard the song. He and a buddy took all of their graduation cash and flew to Disney World together to celebrate their big accomplishment. This trip we didn't hear any music in the lobby, let alone the song we were waiting for, but we would randomly whistle it when we walked through the lobby.

Once Upon a Dream, It's a Small World, Go the Distance | Magic Kingdom

This is where we went right after we dumped our stuff off in the room. We hopped on a boat and headed over there. We walked straight for the castle and the stage show was just starting. We rode on some amazing rides, took full advantage of the FastPass+, figured out our meal plan and got poured on. The kids didn't care one bit they were soaking wet when we met Mickey at almost 10 o'clock at night. We came back another night and planted ourselves in 95 degree heat with 100% humidity for two hours for an amazing spot for the Electric Light Parade, the castle light show and the fireworks. Disney doesn't hold back that's for sure.

He Lives in You and The Circle of Life | Animal Kingdom on Father's Day.

We are a Lion King family. Emmitt LOVES that movie and lion's in general. We started with a character buffet where the kids participated in a Goofy lead conga line, met Mickey, Minnie and Daisy too. We went to the Lion King show where we were amazed by fire performers, flying trapeze monkeys and amazing music. The kids had their faces painted we rode on a safari ride, were blown away by the cool carvings on the tree of life and were introduced to one of many 3-D interactive shows--It's Tough to be a Bug.

Be Our Guest | Hollywood Studios.

I think it's safe to say this was one of our favorite parks. The rides were much more intense and there were less people. The lines were shorter and the shows were much more "boyish." Granted I "forced" them to play along and let momma watch Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid shows but the stunt shows like Indiana Jones and Lights, Motor, Action were where the boys shouted out one of their lines of the week, "THIS IS AWESOME!" and "THAT WAS SO COOL!"

Part of Your World | Epcot

We visited or at least walked around the entire World Showcase to see all of the countries. Of course we stopped and ate in Japan for sushi. The kids met Duffy the Bear. He's Mickey's new bedtime friend and the story is told every 15 minutes on your room TV. This was one of the few characters that the kids wanted to stand in line to meet. They were content to just view the characters from afar or have momma snap a pic during a character dinner.

Hedwig's Theme | Harry Potter

We left Disney to hit up Harry Potter World at Universal Studios. We went to Diagon Alley and Hogsmede both. We read other blogs the night before and learned all the tips on how to get there the fastest and all the cool tips. We followed their advice to go left through Dr. Seuss land and the boys spotted a ride. Well they were soaked at 9 in the morning but had a blast! We hit Hogsmede first because Diagon Alley was to be more shaded in the afternoon. In case you haven't figured it out yet, it was SO HOT in Florida the week we were there! Harry Potter world was breathtaking to me but it was also something I had never seen before. It makes it so magical! We went to Olivander's and got the kids their own interactive wands. Parker picked Harry Potter's wand and Emmitt picked Voldemort's. I tried to convince him to pick Ron or Dumbledore's but nooooo, he wanted to duel his brother. Awesome, more fighting. I caved and let him get it. We bounced around looking for all of the spells the kids could perform and the witches and wizards were there to help them with their spell. It was cool to watch them get a spell right and then the reaction of the magic that occurred after. We enjoyed Hagrid's hut, the Hippogriff ride, toured the castle, a butter beer, pumpkin juice, had lunch at the Three Broomsticks, rode the Hogwart's Express over to Diagon Alley, visited the Quidditch shop and Zonko's. The rides were crazy cool. You couldn't carry a backpack on the rides like you could at Disney so we braved the locker rental (complete with fingerprint scans to get your stuff back), we visited the Knight Bus and Grimmauld Place where we saw Kreacher peaking out of the window at us. The fire breathing dragon on top of Gringott's bank was crazy huge and cool. The ride inside the bank took you through the heart of the bank just like in the movie! We all agreed to head back to Universal in 10 years when the boys will be at the perfect age for the rides.

You'll be in my Heart | Downtown Disney

We were out of park passes so we headed down to Downtown Disney for a day of walking around and browsing shops. We had an amazing seafood lunch-lobster and crablegs. It was nice to just chill for the day and enjoy a bit slower pace. The LEGO shop was amazing to see. The kids are always amazed at the life size LEGO sculptures. Emmitt and I were able to find our Halloween costume characters too!

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes | The Grand Floridian

Also known as, "you are going along for dinner while mom freaks out over meeting Cinderella" night. Well low and behold the kids ended up getting scooped up by the evil stepsisters, complete with promises of marriage and their first kisses! They hammed it up and discussed how many castles they needed to buy for the sisters. While Bear found the sushi buffet and helped my dream come true by taking an updated pic of me and Cinderella. We loved every minute of our last vacation meal.

Best Summer Ever | Typhoon Lagoon and Blizzard Beach

We have water babies! At the end of all the park days the boys would ask if they could go back to the hotel and swim at the pool. Most days we did. It was HOT and the pool was refreshing. We would often look for the boys and spot Parker mastering his hand stand and Emmitt on the water slide. Two different days we hit the water parks. Blizzard Beach was first and we hadn't been there for more than 5 minutes and we couldn't find the boys. Bear and I were putting our gear down on chairs and turned around and the kids were gone. We spotted them among the hundreds of people in the wave pool. Time basically stops when you spot your kid struggling to keep his head above water and you can't get to him fast enough. Bear was ahead of me trying to run through the water as we watched the life guard make the split decision to blow the whistle and stop the waves and then jump in to save our kid. Bear reached Emmitt at the same time the lifeguard did but needless to say we were all shook up and our mood was altered for the day. We just couldn't figure out why the kids thought they should walk away from us and go to the water?! We teach them these things right?! They are "old enough" to know better. There are so many people, WHY aren't they afraid of things like this?! It won't be something any of us ever forget.

We managed to pull ourselves together after quite a few tears and lots of hand holding the rest of the day. We spent lots of time floating in the lazy river and then of course we braved the two huge water slides. Daddy and Emmitt went on the smaller Slusher Gusher and Parker got me on Summit Plummet. I was totally freaked out and bruised from the experience but I went up a notch in my sons book. I was one of VERY few females, let alone moms, in line for this horrible ride and did it for him.

Typhoon Lagoon featured the premiere of the Teen Beach 2 original Disney movie and we hit the water park on that day! The "cast" was there and hosted a DJ session on the beach, a hula hoop contest and we got to hear the entire album from the movie. We enjoyed the water, the rides, the sun, the snacks, the sky messages, the sun and each other. We finished that night with pizza in our room and the premiere of Teen Beach 2.

We had an amazing trip. We love our little family of four bubble. We love everything Disney. We will always have these memories.